The Most Common Sex Toy Questions

These days it can feel confusing. There are so many options out there and all will claim they can deliver maximum pleasure. But the reality is our sexual tastes and desires differ from person to person and as much as many of us function similarly, we are also vary. To make sure you get the best suited product for you, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself.

• Have you used any products before?

If so you need to think about what you liked and didn’t like about it. It’s always good to learn from the past. Consider everything from material, to the way it charged to the noise it made and how easy or difficult it was to store.

• Is this for solo play, to use with a partner or both?

There are many products that can be used for either and both. You might want to choose one of each so you can maximise the pleasure from each purchase. But many couples products can be used for solo stimulation as well. Even if something is marketed as a couples or solo product, you need to think about the practicalities. An internal toy used during penetration can be used when you are on your own, and a more stereotypical g-spot or clitoral vibe could be used during foreplay and by your partner on you.

• If this is to use with a partner, how does your partner feeling about sex toys?

Introducing a sex toy into a relationship can sometime be daunting because the other person might feel as though they are not good enough, could be replaced or that you will prefer the product to them. It’s important to reassure them that a sex toy can’t replace a partner. It can’t touch, kiss and be intimate and sensual with someone. But the reasons for its appearance in the bedroom do need to be addressed. It could be to achieve an orgasm. As many as 80% of women achieve an orgasm through clitoral stimulation and a toy can help with that. For others, it’s about exploring a different part of their body such as anal play or more intense g-sot stimulation. This needs to be communicated as an enhancement to an already pleasurable experience. But their concerns do need to be taken into consideration. If they are worried about feeling that they are not good enough, ensure to choose a product that involves them or can be used during sex. It’s also important that if a partner is still a bit unsure that the product you choose is not intimidating in terms of possibly size and colour. Also, consider if they want to be involved in the process of choosing it or would rather it be a surprise. Going shopping together online can be a fun bonding experience, but someone also might enjoy the thrill of being surprised in the bedroom. However, it’s important to check first.

• What body part of expertise are you looking to explore/stimulate?

Some people are looking for a product for a special area e.g. to stimulate the clitoris, g-spot, for male masturbation or for anal play. Others are just looking for something different to try. Make sure you think about if there is a specific area  you want to simulate, something to help you out such as a lubricant or stimulant gel or a bedroom accessory such as restraint or blindfold.

• Have you had an orgasm before?

For many women, it’s common to struggle with achieving that first orgasm. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it just might mean you haven’t worked out the right way for you yet. This is where a toy can help. But you might want to ensure you choose a toy that is an entry level, being not a strong vibration or something that can be used in different ways.

• If you have experienced an orgasm before, do you achieve orgasms through clitoral or g spot stimulation?

This will be a big factor when choosing a toy. Some do both, but if you know you are a one or the other type of person, ensure you purchase a product with this in mind.

• Do you want something that vibrates? If so do you want a light vibration or a strong/intense one?

Everyone has their own preference when it comes to what they want from a sex toy and for some, it’s just that feeling of fullness, or being penetrated by something phallic or penetrating their partner with something phallic. The different is when something vibrates it’s a vibrator and when it doesn’t it’s a dildo. When it comes to the level of vibration, everyone will also have a preference to what they like. Something with multiple speeds is always useful but if you do want something with more power, there are various products on the market that will boast about a stronger vibration.

This will depend on the type of material it is made from and you need to be sure to check with each product. If it’s glass or mental, you may be able to put it in the dishwater or place it in boiling water. For most products that are silicone, each manufacture will have a preference to ensure you don’t damage the material. Some are ok with washing it with soap and water, however I prefer to use a toy sanitizer. You can purchase some that are sprays or foam and both are for sale on this website. It makes it easier and simple and then there is a guarantee you have killed any bacteria. You should also clean your toy before and after use is possible.

It’s important to talk to your partner about it first instead of just springing it on them. Discuss any concerns or fears they have and address these don’t dismiss them. Talk openly about what you each person might desire out of a product and use this as a great opportunity to explore fantasies. It can also be a lot of fun to shop together to ensure your purchase is in line with your sexual desires as a couple.

I am passionate about products in the adult world being what we call body safe. Unfortunately, due to outdated regulations, there are chemicals that can be used that have been banned in other products, specifically something called phthalates. However, all the products for sale on this website are body safe. In terms of anything that is inserted into the anal passage, it’s important that they have a flared based or handle to ensure they do not get stuck internally. This is also why it’s important to purchase a product that specifically is designed for anal play to ensure this is the case.

This will depend on the type of material your product is made from. Most silicone products recommend a water based lubricant, however some do say it’s safe to use a silicone lubricant as well. But it’s important to check as for some products using a silicone lubricant can break down the material of the product. For each product on this website, I have listed the recommended type of lubricant that is suitable.

There is a movement calling sex toys other more elegant sounding terminology such as adult products, adult pleasure products and sexual health products or aids. There are of course many more, but these are just a few common ones used. I tend to float around because I don’t mind all of them. It often depends on the type of product and how you see them. For me, enhancing sexual pleasure should be sexual health, however I also need to acknowledge that for many, these products are still referred to as sex toys. I aim to influence a sex positive change but at the same time need to balance this with using terminology that those I am speaking to also use. Feel free to use whatever terminology fits for you, but challenge how the terms you use portrays what you are talking about and how you want it viewed by others.

Firstly, it’s important to store them in some sort of a bag or purse. Most people store them in their bedside drawer or another drawer in their bedroom. You need to consider however the bacteria in the bottom of the drawer, what else it in there and how often you clean it out. Hence why a bag, sleeve or pouch is recommended. Some products do come with a bag for storage. If your product has batteries, storing it without the batteries inside can help it to last longer. It’s also important to keep your products in a cool, dry place.

Most manufactures do provide instructions on each product either online or with the product itself. However, as I understand that this can seem often sound confusing, I have re written my own descriptions on this website to better help you understand each product and also recorded videos explaining what each product is used for and how it is used. If you are still unsure about a product, how to use it or if it’s the right one for you. Please don’t hesitate to contact me.